The adjustment period at a daycare center usually lasts two to four weeks, sometimes longer. The most common approaches are the Berlin model (gradual separation, with the first attempt no earlier than the fourth day) and the Munich model (parents participate in the entire daycare routine). Key factors include having a dedicated caregiver, a brief, clear goodbye—never in secret—and enough time without pressure.
Why the adjustment period is so important 🧠
Young children need a secure base from which to discover the world. This is the core of attachment theory, on which all modern settling-in models are based: Only once a child has found a new trusted caregiver at daycare can they relax, play, and learn there.
Research by developmental psychologist Prof. Lieselotte Ahnert shows just how challenging this step is: In her studies, levels of the stress hormone cortisol in toddlers rose measurably during the adjustment period—and the mother’s presence helped cushion the stress response. This is precisely why parents stay with their children during their first days at daycare, rather than simply dropping them off.
The Berlin or Munich Model? A Comparison 📋
| Berlin Model | Munich Model | |
|---|---|---|
| Basic Concept | Gradual separation, attachment to a primary caregiver | Children and parents learn about the daily routine at the daycare center together |
| Role of Parents | Passive presence in the room—“safe haven” | Actively involved: Arrival, meals, outdoor time, diaper changes |
| First separation | No earlier than the 4th day | Usually not until one to two weeks later |
| Duration (approx.) | 2–3 weeks | 3–4 weeks |
Here’s how the Berlin Model works —developed by the Berlin-based INFANS Institute led by Hans-Joachim Laewen:
- Initial Phase (Days 1–3): You spend one to two hours with your child in the group—keeping a low profile but staying attentive. The caregiver gently initiates contact.
- First separation attempt (Day 4): You say a quick goodbye and stay within calling distance. If your child can be comforted, the separation may last up to 30 minutes. Important: never on a Monday after the weekend.
- Stabilization: The periods without you gradually get longer; the caregiver takes over diaper changes, feeding, and comforting.
- Final phase: Your child accepts the caregiver as a secure base. You’re still reachable by phone.
Which model is better? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. More important than the model are a consistent caregiver, a pace that suits your child, and clear agreements with the daycare center.
Well Prepared: 6 Tips for the Time Leading Up to It 🏡
- 📚 Talk about it: Picture books about daily life at daycare help make the new experience feel familiar.
- 🚶 Practice the route: Take a few walks past the daycare center; maybe even take a peek at the playground.
- ⏰ Adjust your routine: Align wake-up times, nap times, and mealtimes with the daycare schedule a few weeks in advance.
- 🗓️ Plan for a buffer: Allow at least four weeks before you return to work—illnesses or setbacks often prolong the adjustment period.
- 🚫 Avoid major life changes at the same time: If possible, don’t schedule a move, weaning, or the birth of a sibling during this period.
- 💬 Share information: Tell your child’s primary caregiver about your child’s bedtime routines, favorite songs, and comforting phrases.
Saying Goodbye: Short, Clear, and Loving 👋
For many parents, the moment at the door is the hardest. These rules can help:
- 💛 Never leave secretly: Sneaking away while your child is playing shatters their trust. Your child will then learn that Mom or Dad can disappear unnoticed at any time.
- ⏱️ Keep it short, not long: A set goodbye routine—a hug, a kiss, waving from the window—and then really leave. Long back-and-forth goodbyes make it harder for everyone.
- 😢 Tears are okay: Crying when saying goodbye is a sign of a healthy bond, not a sign of failure. What matters is whether your child lets the caregiver comfort them.
- 📞 Agree on a check-in: A quick call or message from the daycare after ten minutes will put your mind at ease—and your calm will rub off on your child.
A Little Piece of Home: Why Stuffed Animals & Co. Are So Important 🧸
Psychologists call them transitional objects: the stuffed animal, the comfort blanket, or their own blanket. They bridge the gap between home and the new world. The German Social Accident Insurance (DGUV) emphasizes that children should be able to access their transitional object at daycare at any time—it helps them regulate their own stress.
Particularly effective: anything that smells familiar and feels soft. For naptime at daycare, many centers allow children to bring their own cozy blanket from home. A cashmere baby blanket that’s been in their crib at home for a long time carries the scent of home with them to daycare—and is also feather-light, breathable, and machine-washable.
Safety tip: Scarves, pacifier chains, and long ribbons have no place in daycare—they can get caught on the jungle gym. It’s best to ask in advance what your daycare allows.
Daycare Wardrobe: Clothing That Can Keep Up 🧥
At daycare, kids paint, play in the mud, climb, and—most importantly— get dressed and undressed on their own. Good daycare clothes make things much easier, especially during the adjustment period:
- 🧥 Cardigan instead of a sweater: A cashmere cardigan with large buttons is easier for children to put on and take off by themselves than a tight pullover that goes over the head. It keeps them warm without being bulky and doesn’t itch—fewer reasons to fuss.
- 🧅 Layered look: It’s warm inside, but often chilly outside in the fall. Multiple thin layers can be adjusted depending on the situation.
- 🧢 A hat for the garden: A soft cashmere hat fits well and doesn’t itch behind the ears.
- 🧤 For daycare kids: Baby mittens with a connecting strap won’t get lost when they run outside.
- 🏷️ Label everything & bring a change of clothes: Put name tags in every item, plus a complete change of clothes in their locker.
And what about mud stains? Cashmere can be washed on the wool cycle at 30 °C—and actually gets softer with every wash.
When things get tough: Setbacks are normal 🌦️
The first week went great—and suddenly your child doesn’t want to leave in the morning? That’s quite typical. Often, it takes a few days for children to realize that daycare is now part of their daily routine. Setbacks can also occur after an illness, vacation, or the weekend.
Then there are infections: In a child’s second year of life, eight to twelve infections per year are considered normal—and daycare children are particularly prone to them, especially at the beginning. Every time your child is sick, the adjustment period can be extended a bit.
If your child still hasn’t settled in after two to three weeks, having an open conversation with their primary caregiver is the right next step.
A gentle start to a new chapter 🤍
Settling into daycare isn’t a sprint—it’s a journey we take together. With time, a loving goodbye ritual, a little piece of home in their bag, and clothes that make your child feel completely comfortable, this big step becomes a confident one. And even if saying goodbye is hard for you: Your child is forming a bond without losing an existing one—you remain their secure base. Eventually, they’ll run happily into the classroom in the morning, and you’ll stand at the door, feeling a little wistful but proud.
Frequently Asked Questions – Daycare Adjustment Period ❓
How long does the daycare adjustment period last?
Usually two to four weeks. With the Berlin model, it’s often two to three weeks; with the Munich model, it’s more like three to four. Illnesses or setbacks can extend the adjustment period.
What is the Berlin adjustment model?
An attachment-oriented model: For three days, a parent accompanies the child in the group; on the fourth day, the first brief separation attempt takes place. After that, the time spent without parents is gradually extended until the caregiver has become a secure base.
Is it a problem if my child cries when I leave?
No. Crying when saying goodbye is a sign of a healthy attachment. What’s important is that your child allows the primary caregiver to comfort them afterward.
Can my child bring a stuffed animal to daycare?
Yes—transitional objects such as a stuffed animal, a comfort blanket, or their own blanket help them settle in. They should be within the child’s reach at all times.
What should my child wear at daycare?
Comfortable, durable clothing that they can put on and take off by themselves as much as possible—for example, a cardigan with large buttons instead of a tight sweater. Also, bring a change of clothes and name tags on every item.
